Waiting for Go-dot
I was intrigued by Samuel Beckett, I read biographies about him and his play Waiting for Godot. This story has stayed with me because somehow I could not figure out what he was trying to say.
What I know about Samuel Beckett was that he married a woman who wanted a big house, the norm, so he built her a big house, while he remained ( he built this into the house I guess) in a small room with a single bed, as this was all he needed. When I read this I thought, I want that. Well, I have that, I have colonial sized bedrooms in a partially old colonial house. These rooms are actually very efficient, as they have no heat, yet the body warms them up, and during the day the door is shut, I do not heat them and thus waste energy heating a room that is for sleeping. I suppose if wood was used to heat a house, wasting this on sleeping rooms was not necessary. Makes sense to me.
Back to the play.
Waiting for Godot could mean waiting for a “go” dot/point/directive, waiting for something to motivate, or something to direct, all waiting for something outside of self to direct self and spending a life hoping for a sign.
In essence this is what the mind consciousness system is, the “sign” material that directs, and the system without broadcasts directives so loudly – as it is plastered everywhere- and our families and our education and our culture and our society as a whole is constant in giving signs of direction. We are punished as children until we learn to follow the signs, pulled away from ourselves being in wonder of this world until we listen to the signs, and then we spend our adult years waiting for the go dot, waiting for god to….
If only I had this, then I would be this, I will pray and be good, while I am waiting to go to heaven, and then I will live.
I will wait until I have boobs, because I cannot have that which the world tells me I need to have until I have boobs.
I will wait, I will stagnate, I will become fixed on and idea of what I need and then wait until I have this.
I am the waiter of a go dot.
I am in essence fucking my self, stagnating my self, wanting something outside of me to give me a sign. I constrict, do not move, do not move as my self, do not move my self, latch onto a sign as what I am. In the meantime I will dream of what I will do when the sign comes.
It does not matter that I am life, right here in front of me, a never developed human physical body, the perfect tool to learn to sense my self and this world as life, one and equal as life to the life that is this world, that I do not need any sign to move me, no effort, no waiting for anything as I am life. Waiting for Godot is self petrification, where the dream that I imagine will only burn up the resource of my self as life, as it is so separate from here, as it is a projection, a movie that needs resource to exist, why not use this un-used human physical made of life substance body that is not directing itself as life?
Is fear simply the self in “waiting” in “mourning” for the sign?
This is total self abdication, where naturally, self would develop an alternate reality of projection onto an object – an idea made object, a decoration made object- of the sign/dot/point of directive, ignoring self as life, where self is one and equal to self as life, and thus one and equal to here, all that is here is of life substance, so being here, instead of waiting for godot here, is what self is in equality, as equal and one with life substance here as this is the composition of what is here physically manifest.
In my case, if I have the thought of a man come up in my head, as a thought, this is what i have been trained to be by this system of inequality, what I have accepted and allowed as well, thus I believe I need this to be, so I wait I take in all the signs that indicate this success and I become them. Meanwhile, I have never directed my self as life. Our world here, this system of profit is a reflection of all of us waiting for godot, as what we are within is what has manifested without.
We are the creators of this system.
Meanwhile, life wants expression, as this is what life here in this physical is, so that idea of that object fulfilling me, is actually my self seeking my self as life. I do not need that object to be my self as life.
Samuel Beckett knew he did not need a big house and a big MASTER bedroom to be himself as life.
SO, waiting is the suppression of self as life and the mind is the sign weaver and acceptor of signs from without, the waiting for godot.
So, have a look at our present system. Does it allow self perfection and self awareness one and equal to the human physical body for every single thing on this earth? Are we all aware of ourselves within our human physical bodies?
Or, are we waiting at the doctor’s office, are we pushing papers in some office to accumulate money to buy that house, that object for survival? Within this are we learning to be aware of ourselves totally, every inch? Can we sing? Can we understand how electricity moves thought the wires in our home?
Are we aware of the life in animals? Can we understand how they can sense things we cannot?
In all of this, if one really looks at this, who is then the zoombie? The person waiting for godot?
Better decide and wake up, this earth is being destroyed, and unless all of us stop waiting for godot and stand up it is not going to change. As the human on this earth, it will take us as one to stand together to breech the walls of this system, to walk in that front door and reassemble this system, peaceably by politically supporting a system of equality, where money is used to distribute the more than enough resource to support the life that is here, in dignity, where each one of us can vote in an equal money system.
There is no other choice here. If this cannot be seen that it is us, the human, that has created this system and it is us that must stand, self realize ourselves as life, then self is lost in a mind that will give no direction towards this, as the energy that is the self in separation, will not want to die, as it is only a sign that is a reflection of self seeking self as life, the thing waited for must be taken back into self as self where then self must stand as self as life and learn to walk as self in common sense of this physical world. This is the gift of life, of being.
Time to be and come back to self as life and stop waiting for godot you robot.