2012 – The screen in front of your eyes, the words you speak.

With everything desteni is saying I look at the movement of my life in detail and I begin to see more and more how much I cling to ideas and opinions and beliefs, and how much money influences my life.
When my husband dies my life changed in one instant. Everything that I was stopped. I even moved to another continent, left the world I lived in behind, in a period of a month. NO more dinner parties, no more city, no more German, no more people who I had become friendly with, who I had spent the years of having young children with. Everything stopped.
I was numb. In a daze. I had to rewrite my life – so to speak.
I remember falling asleep and feeling like there were voices speaking super fast in my head. I had this sense that the voices were telling me something and it was me that could not hear them. Somehow I had to catch up to them, and in some way I had to slow down to catch up – so to speak. This was probably my mind and I unknowingly saw it as “voices”, but i had probably in my shock stood outside what I was in this stopping of my life to rebuild and rewrite my life due to a sudden change. This was happening on the inside. This was when, a few weeks later I was sitting at a table at a restaurant and suddenly all the people at the table were looking at something seemingly invisible in front of them, where all their words were attempts as directing the conversation towards themselves in validation of what they were looking at in front of them. It was a very strange experience. It was like everyone was a vacuum and no one was present, no person at that table was present, they were all looking at something that was not them being the seeing of what was physically here – as in there in that moment.
If I were in a state of shock, having stopped my life completely, then it is not some weird thing that I would see this. I had stopped my life, as what it had been, and I had to re-look and rebuild, plus my body was in some chemically changed state which has been documented to happen when a person undergoes a tragedy and is in complete shock. Think of stories where people manage to life cars etc. Our bodies can suddenly do incredible things in extreme situations, so we know the human body is transformable. Modern pharmaceuticals are based on chemically altering the body ( thought in our present situation it is used for profit ) so we know the chemistry of our bodies is important and can be changed. I am saying that shock and tragedy will alter the body and that in one moment one can step outside of what the body has become accustomed to and that in such a moment the mind can be seen for what it is, we can be seen for what we have become.
Will this world have to stop for everyone to see what we are? Will this world have to stop for everyone to see what the human is allowing on this earth?
It does not have to be this way, the humans do not need to go through some extreme life change to realize what they have become, to actually see the system of the mind consciousness system, to actually see and learn the hard way what the systems do to this planet within a system of profit where money rules all of us, determines the personas we build, determines how we take care of this earth and determines the development of ourselves as an expression of life.
Right now none of us are developing ourselves to be able to move as this physical world. We are stagnant within roles to which we become habituated. We repeat the same facades again and again, and they are limited and they are masks and they are not us here moving as this physical world.
Money does not allow us to flow here as this physical world, and education is to basically shut the human down from actually being here in this physical world. Education is to build that screen in front of your eyes, education is to separate you from being here via focusing on memory without physical understanding of living the words you learn. It is like pumping in data without an experience of physical movement as that data. One is data without actual lived anecdotal experience, it is all based on here-say. Can you see how this could lead to being completely manipulated? You become like a walking text book of accepted doctrine without out any self physical developed sensing, the relation is to idea and belief and not actual physical consequence.
This must build a tenuous understanding of this world, and if you “data” is questioned, and within that data you cannot find an answer, and your salary is dependent on providing an answer, in fear, would you not become angry and desperately try to find some answer? This can really lead to abuse, this is ignoring this physical world and it has become acceptable to do this because this is supposedly “the way it is.” How can this not catch up to us? The problem here is that this will catch up to us.
One of the biggest and simplest changes I noticed in the life existence was interacting with couples. I no longer went to dinner parties, I no longer had married women calling me to talk about children and events etc.. It was like I was suddenly a non-person in this world. Yet I was still the very same person. Because I was a single woman I had become a threat. Yet instead of society seeing this what does society tend to do, blame the single woman, label her as single and tack on all sorts of possible things lost should this single woman interact with the status quo of the couple. The single woman is not seen, only the projected threats are seen, even if the is no indication of that single woman inciting behavior to interrupt the couple status. In the beginning, I was so much in shock it was enough to keep my self going, I was not thinking of a man, I was thinking about being able to get my self out of bed and placing one foot in front of another, there was not time to think of men. Within this scenario I started to realize this “non-acceptance” of my self as a person within society. And I would think, “have I done anything to suggest that I am trying to take your man, or, when talking to man at a soccer practice simply because he was standing next to me, have I done anything to suggest I want to fuck you? It was like the world could no longer interact with me because I was a single woman. This is the point, this is how much we move as judgement based on fear, based on loss of something, based on not realizing we each of us determine what we are and what we do with ourselves and how we are responsible. If the whole sexuality persona were not blasted all over this earth and we were not memory bots then we would not be possessed and thus obsessed with all the consequences of sex. A person would see another person for what they are and realize that there is no threat of sex and change of role play and thus rejection of talking to another person in this world because of judgement about the state of another person as being a single mom. This is such a mess, and I only started to see the ridiculousness of it because I was in no way able to think about men, about getting a new man I was too busy rebuilding my life, and I had the financial means to not need a man. Thus could I stand outside the whole role play scenario and see how judgmental and limited it was. Realizing how people are walking projections of ideas and not actually here realizing self direction in common sense with the actual physical world can be frustrating, as nothing one says will break the wall of belief unless one is in a situation where it can be said again and again and again and even then this wall might not be broken. We say these things and they have been said to us, what is not understood is that we actually have a screen as a wall in front of our eyes. There is an actual inter-dimensional screen in front of your eyes filled with data, as idea and opinion and belief as what you are, as how you move as judgement and blame, and this can be seen by some physically, but it can be seen by ALL in looking at how we behave and interact within this world. All emotions and feelings and thought are from this, they reveal, because they are, everything on that screen in front of your eyes. Thus in the very words you speak, because your words are the dictates of the screen, you reveal to yourself and the world your judgements and your limitations and stagnations. And thus the words you speak are the cries of what you have accepted and allowed as a mind consciousness system, the words you speak are the constructs of every step of self abdication of being here one and equal to this physical world.
Ever look at how many words you can read per minute, whether or not you can flow conceptually through information, or do you have to slow way down and reread and reread? it would be hard to take in new information when there is a whole wall of limited data in front of your eyes, it would be hard to read if you have become so attached to this wall of data that to include new information into this wall of data is an effort of because much of that wall of data has to be deconstructed to include the new information. This is why the ego, the ego being your screen of what you believe yourself to be based on all the images placed all over this earth, often responds defensively, it cannot handle too much new information or change of information, it can’t deconstruct to reconstruct fast enough and thus the fear is losing the screen, the blue print ( ironically the light of this screen is actually incredible bluish ) because this bubble of film as data imprint has become the pacifier, the life vest of self . Think of taking a pacifier away from a baby, they scream, think of taking off those training wheels? What happens?
There are simple things one can to to see the judgements one has. If you are someone who does not go to say, Hiob or the Salvation Army thrift stores. Go and walk into one and see what fear comes up. Realize it is just a shop with clothes and nothing else, realize how and why the clothes are there, think about where the clothes were made, how they were made, what materials were used, see the practical con-sequences of why all that is in that store is there, it really is that simple.
And if you are someone who already frequents thrift stores go into a high end story and see what fears and judgement flow through you, look at your own judgement of yourself as a measure of your worth. It does not take too much to see how we judge and our fear. Realize that this is embedded on a screen right in front of your eyes. Sand you built this, as you did not stand up and speak as yourself as life. And this must be done, this must be cleaned up, and it really is a process of cleaning this up. A mess always seems daunting at the beginning, but the only way is to accept it and start picking away at it. And it is not like we have to do this alone, there are people to give pointers so that self can put self back on track.
This has to be done, and it makes sense that there is no short cut or easy way out, we have to realize how this was built so that it never happens again. We have to in essence clean up our own shit. So get the tools of self forgiveness, writing and corrective application to erase this screen, to stop all the judgements and the abuse judgement has caused in this world, and the system of money that stagnates and stops the flow of life because it does not support movement of us as life, it forces us into roles of limited expression ( just look at that billboard of a prepubescent girl dressed like a whore and you will realize how limiting this is as what a child developed into).
Spend some time walking in a different circle as social environment and watch what voices enter your mind, and know that there is something there in and as your human physical body that is holding those voices that come up.
What does that? Ask yourself.
Desteni I process to clean to mind.
Equal Money to clean the world
Eqafe to understand why and how we got to where we are so that a process of self perfection is realized as the ONLY choice. Check out the story of Atlantis, the Reptilians, and the Life review series.
There are also products on the conscious, subconscious and unconscious mind. Don’t wait, the mess will only get bigger and bigger and bigger. Don’t think you can hide because you can’t. If this makes you angry, know that you are screwed.

Understand your sexuality.


About rebeccakarlendalmas

Desteni I Process Equal Life Foundation livingincome.me eqafe.com
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