Happiness -Process Blog Lesson 7
Happiness is a diversion away from the self as self as life, happiness is something we are told we are supposed to be as what we are supposed to express here, generating happiness in the world around us. The only problem with this is that there are people in this world that are losing their homes, and children that do not have enough to eat, so generating happiness as a feeling is not something that has done anything for this world.
I lived in Switzerland for many years, and the Swiss are not like the Americans, as the personality of the two national characters exist. The Swiss believe in a more modest presentation of themselves. The Americans believe a big happy smile should be plastered all over their faces.
It took about eight years, when, one summer I returned to the states and the happy face smile of my Americans seemed garish to me, so plastered, so fake, too forced. And the Americans appeared to me to present this stiff happy face in full force. It was suddenly like I was living in a sea of garish happy faces.
This was when, at that time, I realized how this would not be understood unless one had the contrast of the more modest approach.
Actually, the Swiss tend to “hold themselves in” to maintain a poise of their own, as their national character, this is as much a persona and the garish- in contrast, within a relationship- happy face smile of an American. I actually saw this plastered happy face with a big smile as evil in some way. This is choosing an expression, a one-dimensional expression. It is also not an expression of self, as it is an ingrained, imposed expression taught as acceptable by a culture.
It also cannot be maintained. And who would want to maintain this anyway.
So happiness is a dictate by a system as a proper presentation of how one should be, thus limiting self into attending to the being of this instead of realizing self as one with this world, as equal to this world, as actually seeing this world.
It is like we have been taught to dress ourselves up in more than clothes, we have been taught to “dress ourselves up” in ideas of manner, wants , needs and desires. All of the attention mongers, where one is never here, one and equal to life, never here realizing life because one is so busy dressing oneself up as the dictates of how we are supposed to “project” ourselves.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting my self to believe that I have to wear a happy face in the company of others, and if I do not have a happy face then there is something wrong with me.
I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to believe in happy faces as what is proper and right within our culture.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting my self to realize that there is nothing wrong with just being here and not having a big garish grin on my face when I meet with people.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting my self to believe that I am supposed to project happiness.
I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to want to hide from the world when I do not feel happy because someone might find out that I am not being happy, as the “face” of garish American “happy face” personality.
I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to believe that I am supposed to present a one-dimensional happy face instead of actually being here and seeing what exists here.
I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to believe that I am supposed to be this constant mask of happiness.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting my self to react to happiness in others, which is my self fearing that I am not being happy enough.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting my self to be jealous of someone that appears to be happy.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting my self to feel spiteful towards someone who is being happy.
I forgive my self for not accepting and allowing my self to realize that pre-tending to happiness is actually separation from my self here as forgiving as life and instead attending to a persona of how I am supposed to appear where I am not actually here expressing myself here as life, allowing my self to be my self in and as breath, here, focused here as self as life, attending to my self as life, as being here one and equal to all that is here in the moment as self, one and equal.
I forgive myself for allowing and and accepting my self to fear simply being here as self, as life, without a cloak as a persona, as a manner, be it a national character or the acceptances and allowances as the dictates of society as how one is supposed to attend to the presentation of oneself as what has been taught through culture, media, education, class, role play, ancestors as how I am as the manner and persona of my self here instead of realizing my self here as one and equal to what is here as life, where I see what is here as an expression in and as life, and thus realize that should every thing that is here on this earth might actually start to live instead of wearing faces hiding insecurities and being competitive, and constantly comparing all that is before one according to beliefs, ideas, opinions, wants, needs and desires.
I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to believe in the thought that I am supposed to be happy, to develop a persona of being happy.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting my self to place value on the idea that I am supposed to appear to be happy.
I forgive my self for allowing and accepting myself to feel that something is missing should I not be “happy”.
I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to compare my self to another as being “more happy than, or less happy than.”
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting my self to connect happiness to a belief in how I am supposed to appear.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting my self to connect the feeling of happiness to my self.
I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to fear that I am not “happy appearing enough” and thus I forgive myself for allowing and accepting my self to fear my own fear.
I forgive my self for allowing and accepting myself to define happiness within how I am supposed to present my self.
I realize that I am here, that I can breath, that I need not wear a happy face, or fear that I am less than should I not have a happy face and that someone projecting a nice happy face is more or less than my self, here, I need not compete, I breath and I realize that I am here one and equal where I need not react to this happy face and/or respond to this happiness as what is real.
I realize that if I am here , breathing, being, as life, more than likely I will not have a garish “happy” grin on my face.
I realize that all there is, is for my self to be here, in and as breath enjoying what is here as my self as life here.
When and as I find my self either putting on a happy face to hide, or “make my self presentable” I stop and I breath and i forgive myself to my self as life, as what is within and what is without here as life, and I stand, even if it means simply concentrating on myself as breath here, and I make no comparison as to what is more than or less than in the presentation of my self in reference to another.
When and as I have a thought that there is something wrong with me as I face happiness in others I stop and I breath, I focus in and as my breath and I stand as my self as life and realize that I am here as life one and equal to what is here, and that the mask of happiness, or the opposite feeling or emotion behind the mask is not what is real here, and though it is me, it is not what is life here, it is self in separation from life, divided and conquered by a mind of separation made bigger than self as life as one and equal to what is here, I stand and I become myself here as life, one and equal, able to be here, in compassion, instead of judgement, in expression instead of separation as a projection of believed to be proper manner.
When and as I face happiness either within or without I stop, I stand I breath, I bring my self here, one and equal to self as life as within and without and I breath, I use my common sense as life as self and I enjoy what is here as life, as one and equal to me here, and that the competition to appear “happy” and thus the habit of comparison as measuring behavior can only be what I am if I accept and allow this to be the separation of my self here from life, from the principle of oneness in equality, where the quality of my self is life as all as one as equal is here.
Allocation point; societal/persona application collectively accepted as presentation
Dictionary definition: Feeling or showing contentment, having a sense of confidence in or satisfaction with a person, satisfied with the quality of or standard of, willing to do something, fortunate or convenient.
Sounding of the word: Happ (y) h-aptitude, application, applied, app, appt.
Redefinition: an experience when I am satisfied with myself, another or something in my world I am participating in.
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