Blog 4 Lesson 6
When I am with some of my friends and I realize they are becoming uncomfortable with some of the things I say, I stop and I allow the conversation to remain about the weather or standards remarks about politics etc. because I have had moments with them where they were very astute and helpful. So, I cannot get angry with them because they have been helpful even if they are, more often than not, being emotional about their issues.
It is this way with my parents as well.
From my mother and my father. When they are calm they can be very insightful, as anyone can be. These moments of insight have this quality of coming when a person is very calm. It is because of this that I feel guilty about not talking to them because I place a value on them as having been insightful. But the value is not “on them” the value is/are in the words that convey the insight. It is the being of the insight, it is a moment where what is “being” is calm and clarity.
If I take this calm and clarity and insight and I place this on a person in gratitude as indenture, where I then feel as though I have to put up with many things due to this moment of calm and insight I am creating a relationship separate from the insight, I am adding on values and placing them onto on object, making everything complicated.
I look at the words of Christ, where he says listen to my words. He was asking not to have his insights placed as a value onto him as an object, he was saying live the insight, become the word, the living word.
Adding all these values onto objects instead of being the value as the insight is super-stitching reality and burdening oneself with attachments that are unnecessary. This is what the mind does, and feelings, thoughts and emotions show us where we have done just this. If the living word as “clarity”, that often is a state of calm, is what is lived here in the moment, in breath, where there is not judgement present, just calm and acceptance without turmoil, it is a moment of just being- separate from emotional, feeling, thought baggage.
It is the insight as being as the words. One does not owe anyone something for this, one is only punishing one self for having another speak the insight, in shame, where as the insight is seen it means this being-ness is already in the one hearing the insight. The insight is what is here and one is simply returned for a moment to what is here. Thus there need be no indenture to the object of the voice of the insight because it is the insight as remembering self as being, here as life that is being, that is the value and this value is real as being.
In all this though, I have guilt should I not put up with unacceptable behaviors as I remember past moments of insight lived with the person. In essence I am making the person an object because I am placing a value on them.
I can see where this creates a sticky relationship of multiple connections where when all these things are piled onto the immediate interaction with another person, it all becomes one big mess of piled values that have created an object, where the object if lost seems like the end of the world! It would be very difficult to communicate within this! Especially if we all had guilt for not paying homage to past “gifts” as insights, and had separated ourselves from self direction because we have also placed a value onto another as something we believe we lack and we don’t want to lose that. I could go on and on here. It is pretty simple to see what I do as a mind, and how complicated it can become, and what a mess it can create.
Meanwhile, the insight gets buried and is attached-to-something instead of becoming the living word.
I do not owe anyone something, and all guilt is actually my self placing a value onto an object when the value is life here as self as the living word as life. If I were to become this, realizing there is only being what is of absolute value, then I would not be stuck in this sticky compounded values-being-placed-on-everything-that -is-here existence.
This is what I do to my self. Within this, I then cannot have a clear conversation with another, because I am not being the real value as life. I can only work on perfecting my self here, in this moment as becoming the living world as the value of life, as all life is one and equal to me here. I can only remain here as this, where every miss take shows me the way. My obligation is to my self as life, as what is best for me is best for life, and what is best for me is to be here being the value of life.
The thought here is a belief that I owe someone something based on past interaction and that within this I am guilty.
The emotion is an obligation that I am supposed to remember this as this is a belief within our culture, that I am supposed to turn this into a relationship and hold onto it, and not place my self as the insight to be lived as all that is necessary.
The feeling is guilt based on this belief. as though I am doing something wrong, but it is an added value that separates me from the insight and places the insight within a limited context.
The words here are guilt, obligation.
There are no pictures or memories here, this is an extension of my behavior that came up as I looked at my own frustration and anger and feeling of incapacity.
What triggered this thought is how my own anger separates me from the system.
This type of thought is is a cultural belief where if I adhere to this belief I lose all self honesty, I lose my self and lose my own self trust as I become enmeshed in relationships, separate from absolute clarity as a starting point of what is best for all.
I forgive my self for allowing and accepting myself for allowing and accepting my self to remain attached to relationships based on past values expressed.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting my self to believe that I owe someone something instead of remaining here as the value as life one and equal in relation to all that is here on this earth one and equal to my self as life, as being,
I forgive my self for allowing and accepting myself to believe that I am obligated to maintain relationships not matter what.
I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to believe that I owe something to another when what is owed is the essence in and as the being of my self as a perpetual insight in and as life as equality as the living word.
I forgive my self for allowing and accepting myself to have a thought that I owe something to someone to the extent that I enable behaviors that are unacceptable and enable continued separation from the ability of the other to be insightful as life, which is self separation as well.
I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to connect a belief, as a cultural indoctrination that I owe those that have been insightful with me, to accepting and allowing other aspects of behavior.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not realize that my reaction as anger within this is my self being frustrated with the nature of this cultural belief system.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not realize that my anger is not knowing how to walk through this, so I begin to blame and accuse and become frustrated behaviors that are not productive in de-solving super-stitched values that suppress absolute value as equality and oneness, as the principle of oneness in equality.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself allow all of this to make me angry and frustrated.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to allow my self to become angry and thus lose all clarity.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not recognize this anger as blame and thus separation from being the impetus of my reaction as anger in having my own “fixed” values as beliefs as my own self religion, as expectation placed within this stew of separation from the absolute value as the principle of oneness in equality, this realizing that all is life, as has a value as life, where the personality as a collection of beliefs, ideas and opinions are separations from what is clear as what is best for all as the ability of each and every one of us to realize ourselves as life, as the giving of what one would like to receive.
I forgive my self to allowing and accepting my self to become angry and thus impatient with my self.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to , just as I believe culturally that I must honor the object and not the insight in actually LIVING the insight, that within this I must forgive my self for all the guilts I have for not honoring the object as belief, but also forgive the values I have fixed onto my self that are the selections in and as the culture within which I have been born.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not recognize that this anger can indicate my own separation, where by I must stand and forgive myself as what is best for all.
I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to hold onto these cultural beliefs and to want to go back and fix all the conflicts created by my reaction as anger, when this is not what is here, and it is here that I am, where in common sense , in self honesyt as self trust I can only be the practice of and as the living word.
I forgive my self for allowing and accepting myself to believe that I have made mistakes in becoming angry and frustrated, when these reactions are actually my self as life attempting to birth my self as life into and as this physical world, thus there are not mistakes, there is only the miss take as my self as mind, as belief, opinion and idea, separate from absolute clarity as my self as life as all as one as equal here within the principle of oneness in equality here.
I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to become angry, and thus have back chat as judgement to and towards as something being less than, or more than, in and as my self as the cultural beliefs within and as the society in which I was born and the personality as a collection of beliefs that I have created in separation of my self as life as all as one as equal, as insightful in and as life here, this system of adding values to objects building icons when the life that is this earth is the very substance in and as this physical world that is the value as life and the platform for expression in and as life, one and equal to all that is here as life.
I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to not realize that my anger is self anger, for having allowed my self to be that which I separate my self from and project onto others, which in itself is my self as life seeking clarity from without, where this clarity is actually here as my self as life, one and equal as life here, as I am life and thus I am the principle of oneness in equality separate from self as being caught up in relationships in and as belief separate from my self as life, self honesty.
I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to not realize that my anger is fear of the reactions of the fear of the loss of the values placed onto self as others.
I forgive my self for allowing and accepting myself to become angry in and as arrogance in expectation of insightful behavior from others as the principle of oneness in equality, where habits as belief opinion and idea are suddenly stopped, and not to realize the habitual does not simply stop and within this I am this as well, therefor all that exists is forgiveness within and without in and as breath in every moment.
Emotions of anger and feelings of guilt.
I become angry when asked to behave in a certain way, where I have not been able to explain why I was angry, as I did not understand how this whole system worked, just a sense that somehow something was not clear about why things existed they way they did, which is something each and every one of us sense.
This emotions of anger relates to guilt because the guilt is a belief in how I should behave by honoring my mother and father instead of living and being the insights shared by and through them as what is honored without “pasting these values” onto them as something I am indentured to, especially when the insight is the nature in and as life and not the object as the role as the mother and father. Within this, as the mother and father, these labels that are roles as well, are in essence life, and therefor to be treated as all as one as equal as life, so blame to and towards them for what has been accepted and allowed within limited relationships can only be forgiven as life, as this forgiveness as life is what has been lost, as the value as life as been separated into belief opinion and idea and objectified into cultural icons, this that has been told to us is an action that is separation from life as we have been given the insight as become the living word and not the follower of Christ/objectification. It is this action that has created this hell on this earth and within ourselves.
I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to become angry.
I forgive my self for allowing and accepting myself to not realize my anger as separation.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting my self to suppress my self as life into and as anger
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting my self to not immediately recognize the thought that triggers the anger.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting my self not take the anger back to self immediately.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting my self to not realize that the moment i have become angry, I am no longer present, no longer being self honest, no longer trusting my self here.
I forgive my self for allowing and accepting myself to feel guilt.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to connect guilt to fulfilling moral obligations.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting my self to not realize that the feeling i have of guilt is actual icon worship.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting my self to allow guilt to consume me and thus cause confusion and inner conflict.
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing this guilt in and as my self, taking this back into and as my self as what i have accepted and allowed.
I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to sabotage my self as life in and as guilt.
Word Re-definitions; guilt, obligation
guilt -: the fact of having committed a specified or implied offense or crime; the feeling of having done wrong or failed in an obligation.
Guilt; guild ; guilded Lily ; separation into a relationship ; objectifying value.
Guilt in many ways is shame, it is based on a relationship and not actually existing as a principle of what is best for all. It is indicative of self dishonesty, and would manifest physically as constriction, meaning a miss take on life, leaving my culture beliefs of maintaining ties within this culture. Then an inner conflict comes up, a feeling that I am bad because I am not agreeing to everything delivered by a person who is a family member or friend. And then I immediately feel as though I am trying to play god, which is actually a burden and not fun. In guilt I am not looking at here.
Guilt actually shows me my emotional make-up, where I am able to forgive my self.
obligation – : an act or course of action to which a person is morally or legally bound; a duty or ; commitment ; a debt of gratitude for a service or favor Latin ligat – “tied”
opposite of obligate is facultative; occurring in response to circumstances rather than by nature.
Morality and laws are constructs of belief and not facultative responses to what actually exists, this is evident within what actually exists within this world at present. I am not using the faculty of my self as life as what is best for all if I bind my self within a relationship of proscribed etiquette within culture, without considering what is best for all.
I can untie myself through the faculty of common sense, self honesty, and self forgiveness. I forgive the nominal values of culture, the relative values of society, I unties these and take my self back to my self as the principle of equality and stop the self sabotage of self blame.
Self Corrective Statements:
I realize that guilt is a relationship to beliefs and ideas within a cultural context to maintain social class relationships, that which supports division within society.
When and as I realize my behavior is catering to the emotional needs of another, I stop, I breath and I realize that I need not do this, as this is enabling limitation and stagnation in the expression of life.
I realize that my feelings of guilt are of the mind and not my self here.
When and as I realize I am feeling guilty I stop and I breath and apply the principle of equality through common sense and self honesty as all as one as equal here, where what is best for all is clarity in being an expression in and as life here.
I realize that my feelings of guilt are based on a belief, as thus what feelings of guilt I have indicate beliefs that are the persona of my self I have accepted and allowed that separate my self what is actually here in and as this physical world that can only become an expression in and as life as the principle of oneness in equality as what is best for all here, is best for self in and as the expression of self as life,
When and as I find my self in a feeling of guilt, I stop, I breath, I forgive my self here as life, as an expression in and as life, in consideration of what is best for all as the principle of oneness in equality, the principle of loving your neighbor as yourself, in common sense as self honesty and self responsibility here, without fear of loss, as fear of loss indicates beliefs of self as an idea in relation to the context in which i live in a system of inequality, where the expression in and as life is limited to consumption of earth resources in order to have my self believe that I am a member of society, when in fact I am a member, an expression, of life, here.