Obsession and Possession Process Blog

Lesson 6 Blog 1
Obsession and Possession
I am driving a down a road and a thought of a past relationship comes up, this memory of a past relationship possesses me. I am obsessed with this, then a whole tunnel of memories come up. I realize that I am driving through trees on a road and I am, in my mind, past events. There is a color to them. Seen as a whole.
The trigger thought was about moving from where I live. I suddenly feel really horrible. I reread my words, cant jumped here. I have spent so much time saying I cant that it has become me. In actuality we all have, it is what a cant IS. The defense is a limitation of NOT/KNOT, it is a form of saying something cannot be done, that is all. In saying I cannot, one is placing the limitation as these words as the defense. Incredible, and so obvious.
In the end what really possesses me is the belief that I cannot be self honest.
All these memories are a cant, a lie. No thing will be lost and all will be gained.
The thought here is that I cannot be self honest/ I am a cant of self dishonesty, I am alone, in this I reflect a desire for a relationship, I imagine a past relationship.
My obsessions and possession of thinking about a relationship is self dishonesty, where I seek self, in self honesty. In knowledge and information, all that is the mind is separation, judgement, defense for a world of relationship apart from awareness of common sense. In order to be common sense, one can not/knot in mind cant. To be mind is to be god, so anything of the mind is separation, made in the likeness of domination. Ac-knowledge-ment is submission.
The main memory is of an initial moment of intimacy, as though there is a pull towards this physically.

As I drove down the road I was thinking about how I would leave where I live. I would be alone, so I fear self honesty, as life, I judge the unknown as less than, which is insane.
It is judgement that I cannot go where I am not known ( can’t move from now).
I forgive my self for allowing and accepting myself to feel that I am alone.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting my self to believe that I can’t move because now I
will become unknown.
I forgive my self for allowing and accepting myself to feel that I need a relationship to someone or something.
I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to fear being self honest.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting my self to fear standing alone
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting my self to fear being my self in oneness in equality.
I forgive my self for allowing and accepting myself to exist as a collection of memories from and about the place I live.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have this trigger that in moving away from where I live I will leave behind relationships that are a comfort.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to wish I had someone to help me with this.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting my self to wish I had someone from my past to help me with this.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting my self to obsess about a past relationship
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to blame my self and to blame the past for my self being here alone,
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to pity my self for being alone.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself for fear being alone.
I forgive my self for allowing and accepting myself to obsess about a past relationship because I fear the unknown and change.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting my self to think that being alone in this will be difficult.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting my self to not realize that I am capable of doing this, one step at a time.
I forgive my self for allowing and accepting myself to think that moving stuff is difficult when, I could have a giant yard sale, but then replacing what i have would be stupid because it is probably better quality than what I could replace it with, and most of it is simple existential stuff.

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to exist as fear of being alone.
I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to connect fear to being alone
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting my self to fear my own fear,
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear my self
I forgive myself that I have allowed my self to connect fear to my self and thus I forgive myself for allowing and accepting my self to fear my own fear.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting my self to fear being self honest.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to connect fear to being self honest and thus I forgive myself for allowing and accepting my self to fear my own fear.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting my self to not realize that there is nothing else, no matter having another to help or not, in the end self honesty is what I will live with in the being of what I have allowed and accepted.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to obsess about a past event which is my mind showing me what I fear as the opposite is being alone which is a fear of self honesty.
I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to not realize that should I stay or should I go the only choice is self honesty, be it with known acquaintances or “unknown” acquaintances.

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting myself to believe that I am to be alone, or not alone.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear being alone and in this imagining being with another person .
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to exist as value placed on being with someone instead of realizing that no matter what the only choice is self honesty.
I forgive my self for allowing and accepting myself to connect the desire for relationship to self support.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to escape self honesty.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting my self to feel that being alone is sad.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting my self to feel that being alone, that moving as self honesty will mean that I will be alone is sad.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to feel that it is melancholic to be a single person.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to realize that within this past relationship there was a fear of self honesty.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that I will be alone without connections to my environment in and as memories that move my self within instead of realizing that what is physically here is what is real and I need not carry the emotion of loss.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that moving from where I am is sad.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting my self to connect sadness to being alone,
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting my self to connect melancholy to being alone.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to connect sadness and melancholy to being alone and moving alone.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to feel confused by how in pointing out a contradiction people can become so angry.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting my self to label what is here as futile.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to feel separate from what is here when I am not separate from this, it is merely the slow spinning of a coin where only one face is seen.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that I am alone.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not realize that my fear in anger serves no purpose
I forgive my self for allowing and accepting myself to not realize that I am only alone if I judge my self by my past and place value on the relationships of the past, which are images in and as the mind and not what is here.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting my self to connect value to the past and my relationships as memory as a limited system of mind.
I forgive my self for allowing and accepting myself to exist as a senti-mental image in and as the past.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting my self to connect the values of emotion and feeling and landscape in and as the past to my self honesty, where these memories and values are my self in separation yet not what is actually here as self honesty.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that I am my past.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting a cant of the past to separate my self from self honesty.
I forgive my self for not allowing and accepting myself to realize that these memories attached to this landscape where I live are not what i am here as life as all as one as equal in self honesty.
I forgive my self for allowing and accepting myself to not take these sudden advent of memories , driving down the road at the moment i think about moving, where there is also this emotion of sadness, as indicators of the mind not wanting change, where I fear losing something when in fact it is all a cant and thus fear of being self honest.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting my self to not realize that this outflow of memory, this tunnel of memory is all fear of self honesty.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting my self to connect memory to self honesty
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to connect fear to self honesty.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that something will be lost in self honesty, where at this point, though I may move forward slowly, I can’t go back.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to look beyond this obsession with a past relationship to be the possession of the mind where buried within this is a fear of being self honesty.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting my self to realize that this obsession with a past relationship is also of no compassion for a person in the same position as my self, in fear of self honesty .
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting my self to see my obsession as a reflection of what I fear.

Words;
self honesty –
Being here, within breath, as the principle of oneness in equality.
solitude + -, avoidance –

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to give a negative connotation to the word self honesty.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to see honesty as unacceptable.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting my self to believe that being self honest is futile.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting my self to connect the word self honesty to an obsession about a past relationship.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to define self honesty within obsession about a past relationship.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting my self to separate myself from the word self honesty and from obsession about a past relationship through defining the word self honesty within an obsession about a past relationship in separation from myself.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to connect the word self honesty to moving.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to define self honesty within moving
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting my self to separate my self from self honesty and from moving through defining self honesty within moving in separation from my self.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting my self to connect the word self honesty to fear of change.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to define self honesty within change.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to separate my self from the word self honesty and from fear of change through defining self honesty within fear of change in separation from my self.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to connect self honesty to solitude.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to define self honesty within solitude.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to separate my self from self honesty and from solitude through defining self honesty within solitude in separation from my self.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to connect self honesty to avoidance
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to define self honesty within avoidance
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to separate my self from self honesty and from avoidance through defining self honesty within avoidance in separation from my self.

Re-defining words:
Self honesty/solitude/avoidance ; The allocation of these words is in reference to change and how change reveals what memories will be lost that are inherent within the environment as self projections and thus how much attachment, and possession one has as mind separate from what is physically real.
Self honesty/ destonian wiki definition: -Honesty is the ability to take a clear and fresh look at oneself and one’s situation. Within seeing oneself objectively one is able to determine where one stands in relation to one’s honesty, even and especially if, one observes something one does not like and/or would rather not see.
Self Honesty; self hONEsty: self one stay, self as relative to what is absolutely physically here as what is real, and not the projections in and as emotions, thoughts and feelings, as value judgements according to culture and a past that reflects the values of that culture, or the singular polar emotions that substantiate a belief, as mind, focusing all of self into and as what is an actual longing for self expression as life that is believed separate, when the mind shows the fear as separation in what is believed to be missing but is self as self is life and therefore one with life. it is the cant of the mind that reflects away from self honesty. Therefor one forgives of oneself without expectation of loss or gain through expressing what is real in and as the physical. This is not placing a value on the physical or on self but accepting what is here.
Self forgiveness is self honesty as self accepts and allows what is the actual physical world, a world we have become so separate from it will take effort to bring one self back to self as one with this physical world. In this self honesty is the placement of self in and as eternal life with and as accepting the transformations inherent within and as the physical.
Solitude: From latin; solus/alone, a state or situation of being alone, a lonely or uninhabited place.
In music the 5th of the scale, sol, always resolves to “do”, “do” is also do, as in doing, in doing in interacting with the physical one becomes self honesty and is all one with the physical. The resolution of solitude, or solus, alone. Accept this physical world and there is no solitude, how this world exists must support this physical world. Within this word is the answer to the words reflection as being without something, in that one as life as a physical being is eternally here in existence as life. Expectations are of the mind, and thus contingent on the measure of the mind, and expectations are rigid as the mind is of a rigid not all inclusive form imposed onto the nature of life as non expectation, as life moves in tandem with its forgiving nature as life, as what allows life to be. Thus life can only be eternal.
avoidance; a void dance, a dance in a void. To keep away from or stop oneself from doing.
avoidance is to stop oneself from doing, thus from interacting with this physical world to enable one to realize in and as the physical what is a reflection of self dishonesty. The very sound of words indicate how one has separated oneself from what is real. Here this word answers the problem the word implies, that one is keeping oneself from doing, from being what one is as this physical world based on judgements made by self in separating self from self as life. Avoidance is either ignoring how this world exists, or ignoring what one fears losing and has placed a value on as being greater, but given the transformative nature of life, there is no greater of lesser, there is only being and doing. This is what is eternal.

Self Corrective Statements; correcting the behaviors of the mind.

I realize that in believing I am alone, in having the thought that I am alone, especially when I find myself obsessing about a past relationship, where memories and thoughts come up I realize that I am fearing my own self honesty, here.
When and as I begin to feel that I am alone I stop, I breath, I take what is here as mind back to my self and I remember my self honesty as all I can be in the moment here in breath, where the future of the mind will only be the hopes and fears of the past, thus what is corrective in action is to simply be here in and as breath.

I realize that fearing the future will trigger past memories in and as mind, where I have separated my self from what is here in and as breath here, and within this I fear I am becoming memories as beliefs that self will be lost, when there is only self here, breathing and standing as life in oneness and equality.
When and as I begin to think about the past, I stop, I breath, I realize that I am seeking comfortable associations in and as the mind, and have turned from what is here, actually practically here, where self in and as breath, as life cannot be lost, and no past separation into and as wanting validation and support from without will direct my self here in the moment.

I realize that when I have a memory appear I am being shown my own self dishonesty, where i have separated my self from my self honesty and have become blame and anger, fearing standing up as my self in self honesty where I direct from a point of corrective equality as the principle of what is best for all, which is what is best for self and not antagonistic.
When and as I fear standing alone and find my self accessing my past as memory as mind I stop I breath I realize that I am in separation from my self , here, and in not searching for something to comfort me, or stand by my own decisions, I utilize my common sense within the principle of what is best for all as what is best for self and I correct this validation sought and outplay of antagonism as anger and blame, and I correct my self through breath and look at what is here in practical common sense becoming a self perfected, self directed principle of oneness in equality.

The memory was really seeing the whole of emotion and feeling I placed on the very landscape of my world here as I drove down the highway, how the most recent relationship was just another in a past mistory/history. Overall it had a color and vertical spin of looking for something which is why I feel it was more a frustration of being self honesty, the blame, the self validation, the anger, the missed opportunities. This is just it though, all sought from without and not being self honest here. The isolation I feel is that I have sought this from without and not been this my self here. Perhaps the rejection I feel is that I am seeking this without and not BEING this HERE. Moving is not going to change this, and it is not a reason NOT to move. Once again the mind shows us what we are through the protagonists re-quest and the antagonists denial, the answer can never be found here because one is reflecting the other, where the totality is the separation. Thus this can only be validated through taking this back to self and becoming what is believed longed for/separate/absent/non-existent.
I am here.
So, my memory is the movement of my self into becoming a protagonist antagonizing the world. LOL It was that subtle vertical shift of self into separation. The body reacts in suddenly becoming a very steady fluid BREATHING. really cool.
I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self hold onto memories as a source for knowledge and information as to what not to do or as what to do, within this not realizing that the whole of the memory/memories are the same story of my self within different facets of the same starting point of separation in and as avoidance and fear of self honesty.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become angry towards another for not answering to a self validation , where if another is the same, they become antagonistic only in being their own protagonist, where the actions from without always appear antagonistic to the point where should one become self honest the surprise from the other is probably going to be stunned silence! And the ‘arsenal” of behavior cant, cannot find a response unless given patience, unless frightened of facing a moment of equality for fear of loss of ego.
I forgive my self for allowing and accepting myself to have taken anger, judgement, impatience as a definition of my self as something is wrong within and as my self not realizing that all antagonism is actually a protagonist’s fruitless search of seeking self from without and the absence of self honesty as life as expression as equality as forgiving as being here, as performing within the space and form of what is here, separation from the physical as life here.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not remain within breath, here, as form as space, as common sense, here, in equality as life here, one and equal, in non separation as the seeker/protagonist, the rejector/antagonist/ defender based on belief separate from here, a belief as mind in sense of the morality, the roles promulgated by media, outplay of submission and domination within and as manipulative taking and receiving within and as a system that demands debt/enslavement through money in order to survive where roles and rules of appearance and behavior are taught through projections as image on screen and the use of description through word and behavior of parents, family, acquaintances, fame and infamy, within and as a limited distribution of supply to meet the needs of existence.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to blame the behavior of antagonism, where this blame is self interest as idea taught by this present system and accepted by my self in separation from my own self honesty as life as all as one as equal here in breath.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting my self to be the action of blame towards antagonism, which is merely spite in lack of protagonist sentiment, where actual sentiment would be an act of enabling, an act that indicated the hidden agenda, as survival in self interest, of self dishonesty.
I forgive my self for allowing and accepting myself to blame the movement of antagonism, which is more of the same fuck up, and actual ignorance of here, of equality with what is here as being one and equal in the search for self honesty.
I forgive my self for allowing and accepting myself to not realize that only self can validate through being here, in breath, one and equal to breath here, in space and physical common sense as all as one as equal here,in and as self honesty forgiving with self as life.
I forgive my self for allowing and accepting myself to connect common sense to the mind as memory in seeking self directives of past event instead of remaining here as breath in common sense with and as the physical.
I am here.
I am breath

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About rebeccakarlendalmas

Desteni I Process Equal Life Foundation livingincome.me eqafe.com
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