2012 Process Blog Ignorance

Process Blog
Last night I suddenly had pain erupt in points through out my body. In my toes, the tips of my fingers, my knee. This morning when I woke up there was a knot between my shoulder blades, and I cannot really stand straight, there is a subtle twist in my upper torso.
I had been thinking about sales, and how unsuccessful I have been. Where I am with this is that I have stood and faced people, many people. I meet resistance, even if I gain access to a conversation, the outcome is resistance, even in agreement to what I convey, the outcome is non acceptance. The response is not one of anger within the interaction, it is more an ignoring what has been revealed. This word ignorance is very present in my world at the moment.
I had one woman say to me that she had ideas about what she did. I asked her what her ideas were. And she repeated that she had ideas three times. No other words were used, only, “I have ideas.” Obviously, at this point it is like trying to squeeze water from a stone. This person could not see what their ideas were, they saw only this statement and could respond no further.
But this is judgement on my part. I had stopped just as much as this person had stopped. She had no insight into her own “idea” and had probably never been asked. I had labeled this as ignorance and thus everything stopped. We had both become unforgiving. Perhaps this conversation would not have gone any further even if I attempted to define her ideas, or asked questions as to what her ideas were through suggesting directives that fed her ego as her idea. Play to her emotions.
I went home in frustration, and disbelief that someone could stand and repeat an empty word without being able to explain themselves.
This all grew into me, feeling I was incapable of walking through this. This event that ended in ignoring possible movement. I was stuck in ignorance and frustrated in nowhere. Now and here, time and space, winning/the won becoming greater than being here. One must LOOK to be here.
I tend to want things too fast, and to judge to quickly, to judge. Judgement is a limitation produced by self as self knows not where to breath life into a situation, to take the “time out” to remember expression/forgiving. One stops breathing and labels, places a defense on the inaction, to justify. I became frustrated in the resistance, my breath constricts. I fuse with the resistance and give it a name and I become the name, I doll my self as this. One might as well call this a possession, because this is what I/one get/obsess about and thus focus on and thus pay homage to, and thus idolize, give life to/ stand and stare at/ have as what is in vision, as what I see in existence as that that I allow to lead nowhere.
What is the thought here?
What do I do with ignorance? with ignoring what is here?
How do I stop this emotion of anger and feeling of frustration?
This is the topic of IGNORANCE.

Do I remember this in my past?
A memory of not looking in high school, saying to my self as I approached a group, “don’t look, don’t look” were the words I remember saying inwardly as I walk up to my peers in front of school. I don’t even remember what it was I was not supposed to look at really. I just remember thinking if I didn’t look I could get involved in the conversation and participate in the chatter.
Just as now, I am being told to wear a happy face, which is exactly what I decided to wear when I told my self to “not look” as a teenager. Ego in persona relation now separate from self in equality here.
So, what do I do with ignorance, with ignoring what is here?
What triggered this thought?
Fear of failure/Fear of loss/death.
I am limited in my own judgement.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have the thought, the question in and as my mind of what to do with ignorance.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to think that something is ignorant
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not realize that my own thought is the allowance of my self as what I am here,
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become locked in this thought that is my self in separation of ignorance in asking what I need to do in relation to ignorance, not realizing that I have become my thought, and in this I have become ignorance.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to get stuck in the thought that I am facing ignorance.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to label what I face as ignorance in fear of loss, in wanting to succeed, in wanting to win, where the very wanting to win separated my self from what was ignored.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to ignore my own common sense, where I sense what is ignored and speak in common sense instead of label and react to an inability to provide a clear answer, where I abdicate self response in common sense.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to realize that in labeling an inability to respond in common sense as ignorance I have become ego and thus have separated my self from for giving as common sense.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear failure
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to desire success
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not realize that success and/or failure is a desire, is the ego, as belief in separation of self as life, is ego in relation to survival creating an icon of self in self interest, where common sense as what is best for all is best for self , as oneness in equality, is forgotten.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that something can be lost, where the loss is all that is real, and the focus is on desire and not what is best for all.

The anger and the frustration:

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become angry with my self, which is fear of loss.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not realize my anger will not find solution in common sense.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not realize that the moment I fear and label ignorance I create my own anger, as there is no response here, no insight through the limitation accepted and the expectation for response from another.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not realize my anger is a desire for acceptance where acceptance is not possible because ignorance has no response.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become frustrated in a lack of responsibility
I forgive my self for allowing and accepting myself to have a belief as to where a response should manifest
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that I am not responsible
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not be self responsible, to believe in the morals of social etiquette as the order of question and response.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to place the persona of my self as remaining within a polarity of consequence and antecedent as response in relation to conversation within society where the drama pre-ceeds common sense.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not realize that common sense is paramount as what is best for all.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not realize that frustration is the loss of common sense, where what exists that is accepted is not realized with in common sense as what is best for all.

Self Corrective Statements:
I realize that when I abdicate my self response ability I become ignorance, when I judge another as ignorance I am one and equal to this ignoring and have separated my self from the use of my own common sense and therefor abdicated my self response ability in separation from my self as life as the consideration of equality with every breath absolutely in purpose of equality.
I realize that when I become judgement and frustration I am fearing the loss of my self and therefor an in relation to a desire, a need a want and have abdicated my own common sensical self responsibility in equality in full consideration of all as one as equal here
I realize that the way forward is through my own ignorance that I have accepted and allowed to face my own fears of rejection through standing as all as one as equal in self responsibility as common sense within the absolute which is that which includes all that is life, one and equal.
I realize that in ignorance I will become what I fear as I stop my self within common sense and equal consideration.
Thus when I become the emotion of anger, and/or a feeling of frustration I stop I breath, I stand within breath within common sense and I direct my self through what ever ignorance as emotion and feeling that desires the maintenance of a relationship as belief, opinion and idea and I direct the behavior towards what is best for all within the principle of oneness in equality.

What do I associate Ignorance with? non-seeing, stagnant, submission, failure, domination

Ignorance –
I go no, I no go, go I know, knowledge I go, no ledge of substance, go I as kNOw ledge in relation of no absolute consideration, I go not, I am stagnant in my belief.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to connect a negative connotation to the word ignorance.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to use the significance of the word ignorance as an indicator of limitation.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not realize that the diction within the word ignorance sounds its nature as that of non-looking at solution that is best for all, where thoughts, emotions and feelings can be discovered and walked through in equality.
I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to connect the word ignorance to failure.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to define the word ignorance within failure.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to separate myself from the word ignorance and from failure through defining the word ignorance within failure in separation of my self.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to connect the word ignorance to stagnation.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to define ignorance within stagnation.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to separate my self from the word ignorance and from stagnation through defining the word ignorance within stagnation in separation from my self.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting my self to connect the word ignorance to submission.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting my self to define ignorance within submission.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting my self to separate my self from ignorance and from stagnation through defining ignorance within stagnation in separation from myself.

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to connect the word ignorance to domination,
I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to define ignorance within domination.
I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to separate my self from the word ignorance and from domination through defining ignorance within domination in separation from my self.
I forgive my self for NOT allowing and accepting my self to connect the word ignorance to equality.
I forgive myself for NOT allowing and accepting my self to define ignorance within equality.
I forgive myself for NOT allowing and accepting my self to NOT separate my self from the word ignorance and from the word equality IN dictating the word ignorance in and as a living word in absolute purpose of oneness in equality.

This memory that I have is of my self walking towards a group of friends on the streets of New York, where I am inwardly holding my self up to prepare my self to speak with my friends/peers in a social context. There is my self telling my self to don’t look, don’t look as I encounter the people.
The point here is why was I telling myself to don’t look?
Obviously, there is a relationship between ignorance and don’t look. The significance of this is that they are the same, an echo of the same behavior.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to not realize my own behavior as something I have accepted and allowed in order to participate in chatter and be accepted, appear to be accepted, ignoring what ever it was I was deciding to don’t look at.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting my self to desire to exist within a relationship to a social context in separation from my self as whatever it was that was not to be looked at within my self that I was telling my self to not look at.
I forgive my self for allowing and accepting myself to ignore my own judgements to and towards the social context of peers I encountered in high school in and as a memory of telling my self to not look.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting my self to feel inferior to my peers.
I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to fear rejection by my peers.
I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to believe that my own self response within the social context of peer interaction was unwanted and therefor it was necessary for me to become a persona of socially accepted chatter.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to abdicate my own self response ability within a social context and thus ignore the significance of my own common sense.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting my self to fear, by accepting behaviors that abdicated my own absolute individuality, my self response ability where I actually told my self as thought to INGORE, to not look and present my self as my response in relation to accepted chatter instead of allowing and accepting myself as one and equal to the chatter and the group of peers within this memory.
I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to hold onto this memory as a justification for the response of my self here to this day.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting my self to not realize that the behavior accepted and allowed has remained within and as me, as the behavior and persona of my self here within the context of my present situation where I have remained within ignorance believing there is resistance to my self as my self in self responsibility as life as all as one as equal in absolute purpose of equality, of the realization that I am life and therefor one and equal to all life, where the ignorance of this life within my self has become ignorance of life without as well and this is abuse of life, an action that submits, suppresses, ignores the significance that IS life.
I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to dis-connect my self from the absolute individuality of my self as life as the equality of my self to all life, the movement of life, the physical substance that is life here.

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About rebeccakarlendalmas

Desteni I Process Equal Life Foundation livingincome.me eqafe.com
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