Memory, spite, feelings are not e-quality.

I have a memory that has come up recently, where I am sitting in apprehension of my father coming to ask questions to justify some agenda in and as his mind; an outlet for frustration. There is no physical world in this memory, it is more a state of being as idea, as mind, where, actually one is not looking at this physical world and how it is organized that is the cause of the frustration, but projecting this frustration into some drama, some tiny platform of outplay, a storm, a release of expression that produces nothing other than drama, irregardless of the whole, the whole being the inclusion of this physical world. ( ire- regard = regard of the frustration of the limitations in not regarding, not “guarding”- as including this physical world )
So, in this memory I realize that I am very spiteful. I am angry that this drama might come and occupy my existence. Here, as a child, I am already, through the attention of my self, pulled into the game of the mind, I am participating, and I am angry about this, and I am spite. I think I actually remember the thought where I said, OK, you want me to play this? Then I am going to spite you and thwart you and deny that which you want me to be as the image you present and force. I still become this, I get aggravated by some of the “emotional dramas” that are demanded. Especially the present one that exists and is used within the society I live; ” You hurt my feelings”. I have even said to people, ” well, I have some feelings too, and they are incongruent with your feelings, so how do we resolve this?, are you saying that your feelings are more important than mine?” Who is “right”?”. This can really make people mad. They just tell me I am being difficult. But what they are really saying is that THEIR feelings are the ONLY feelings. This is being like a concrete block of awareness, where one is literally stuck in their “feeling” and that IS THE WORLD TO THEM. PERIOD. ( Yes, I am being the same if I have my own “special” “feeling”. )
It gets to the point where the “feeling” is separate from the thought is separate from the idea, is separate from the structure of the system that forces the justifications that are accepted and allowed and believed to be unchangeable. And on it goes. And all our “feelings” are real, and special and more than what someone else is feeling.
Image. A bunch of “feeling” bubbles floating around, leaving their scum of “feeling” all over this physical world.
So, in some ways, my spite is coming through in these words I write. But this “spite” is just another form of blame. This “spite” is just another form of ego. If I react to, and become angry with another for becoming flippant when it is suggested that perhaps all these “feelings” must be included and realized, and this action then “negates” “feelings” and then the power sought as acceptance of “feeling” does not happen, what is really happening is the person wanting power. Emotions and “feelings” want to be right, are the self wanting to be on the top of the pyramid, surviving. And all of this is thought and opinion and idea, imposed on us, accepted and allowed by each of us individually, and believed to be what is real, made HUGE by the tool of the mind. Something that does not allow simply being, something as what we are, here, that is destroying this world because this being as stance as presence of what the human is, is not considering that which is REAL; this physical world.
So, all those “thoughts” in your mind, that lead to “feelings” that seem so real, are not real because they forgot the actual physical world. Any and all interaction with this “mind” world is an act of blame in a desire to eliminate competition so that one can survive. This is how we have allowed the organization of this world. Mr. “Feeling” would sure be aggravated with me, I am basically saying that Mr. “feeling” is not real. This is done by isolating a particular and not including the whole of this actual physical world.
So, it is the nature of concrete thinking to isolate into particulars and create “feelings” that seem so real and are so BIG. All those thoughts running around in your head are, in a way, the search for particulars that will allow one to survive.
And the belief in survival as the nature of existence is the illusion, because if we look at the whole of this world, and the capacity of man, plant and animal, the nature of the sun and the wind and the water, we the human can organize this world in a way that supports instead of creates struggle and survival as the mode of existence on this earth. We can distribute resources to meet all the basic needs of existence, we can build products that last, we can create systems that work in tandem with this earth and not as something that destroys what is here. ONLY having “summits” and “gatherings” to talk about this does nothing, it is only talk. A profit based system cannot allow this, because it allows profit based on digits only and disallows life being the profit; the actual simple being of one as the physical that is the profit. It is the being here in this physical world that is the profit; life. The “feelings” of the mind, developed through thought support the nature of survival based profit.
If we continue in this non-inclusive vein of being, the outcome is war. As each war in our history has become more gruesome, and greater in scale, the natural outcome of another war is probably greater than any war ever experienced. And , yes, war is just another profit machine. It is the natural outflow of this profit, this digital profit based system.
If we do not stop and change this present system to that which supports this physical world, this world we have the know how to organize in such a way that supports the physical world, we are allowing the inevitable outcome of the nature of this present system to manifest.
Either we stop and realize that profiteers will desire a war to reorganize this world into the same “profit for the few” system, or we stand and we vote to realize that the profit is the being of life in the physical. Life cannot really exist until all have the ability to be their unconditional self expressions life, and we have no idea what this is because it has never existed. If another person says to me that this is communism, I am going to tell them to go and read the stories and watch the movies made by people who actually LIVED in this system, who experienced this communist system physically and not as some fucking idea written in a text book for the West, because what actually exited in the Communist system was a hierarchy or survival, where being an official in the governing body gave that person more power than another, so the people within communism had to answer to officials enjoying their power, their wants , needs and desires. Communism was just another power structure that obviously did not consider life first and because of this it failed. In the west, if the outcome is war then we too have failed as a system, because we are not supporting life. War is not supporting life, it is competing and raping, and destroying, and abusing, it is greed. All of this makes it very clear that the only choice is to support all life equally, is to distribute the resources of this earth to respect the physical and support the physical as life. Wake the fuck up and get out of the “feeling”, it is blinding you from what is actually real, and if any “spite” as reaction comes up, know that you are fucked as your mind.
There really is no excuse for what is happening in Africa. There is no excuse for the overcomplicated (hiding of what is actually going on) systems that are our present tax system, our present educations system, our present medical procedure system; the list can go on and on. Anyone who supports such systems and expects someone else to change this has already failed life. No one is going to do this but each and every one of us. It is going to take all of us to stand.
Vote for an Equal Money System
Begin Self-Forgiveness in word to clean up those “feelings” that seem so real yet are not because they have not included this physical world, they are only generated through survival based thoughts of the mind.


About rebeccakarlendalmas

Desteni I Process Equal Life Foundation
This entry was posted in Self Discovery, World/Money System Discovery and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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