I am believing that this world is futile that it is futile to have the human become a man. To stop the movement of separation from the whole that is what exists here.
But the human does want to be man, just as I want to be man, just as I desire to stop the fear, this long journey of wanting to stop fear that started in my twenties. I was so mad at the fear, i wanted it to stop I wanted it to be out of my life. And I continue to want this to end. It serves no purpose or so it seemed to me. But it is the wanting of this fear to end that is probably where i am stuck. All that is here is here to direct. So, fear is an indicator of separation, that cannot be resisted, that must be included and transformed in and as belief to that which directs towards realizing all that is here. So it is like we stop expansion from particulars when we bump up against fear, fear the moment of transformation, the moment as directive towards inclusion. Can this be turned into an expression as joy, as movement as a giggle of joy and expression?
In playing the violin, I was told that one played from the chest, one balanced from the chest, one directed from the chest. When one is at ease with the instrument, it is as though something flows from the chest. Is this acceptance of what is here, and the allowing of the transforming of self into expression without resistance the actual movement of self as life as expression- where fear is actual repression of this?
If this is, and it must be, then this is what should be existent here on this earth, this is what all that is here should be! The eternal flow of life through the chest, at ease without resistance, the particulars as limitation as belief , opinion and idea, that become want and need, where the not getting of these things, or the struggle for these things, perhaps that which is needed to survive, can bind the self into a myopic struggle where turning into the fear/path of acceptance is stopped by the obsession of need and want.
In wanting to escape fear I am trying to escape the very thing that hold the solution. The fear is the change, is the moment of transformation; if resisted, the journey is difficult, meaning the journey, the beingness of self ( really) is at a point where they are defying as self the cult that is the limitation, that is the di-(mensional) i-cult that is the mind. the wrenching of one self from only seeing the particular to including all that is here in and as the physical world.
In running from fear, one is resisting corrective, inclusive action.
So, as I say this I want to cry and my back starts to hurt once again. The physical is telling me something but i am too much a mind fuck to see. LOL The fuck up of righteousness. Pride. What am I going to lose? Nothing.
My father once said to me that I cried when I should laugh and I laughed when I should cry. I suppose that if, as a child, I faced fear with laughter, then this would have aggravated the being of a human as a particular, where the fear was where one did not go. And here I was laughing. I don’t remember the laugh, I just remember the irritation directed towards me. ( BOO HOO!- ok…..) I am laughing, and this would be contrary to a Hollywood write up, where the focus would be on some struggle that was given some meaning or value as the cause of the capacity to drive someone to – for instance- to write a blog and place it on the internet for all to see – which is not the “norm” of existence. And perhaps it should be, the singing of many as all as one as equal as word as sound, discovering and giggling away ( a -way) into heaven on earth. It is time to allow this and to stop the movement of the human and to birth man onto earth.
Desteni I Process
Equal Money/ Equal Life the expression of life as all as one as equal,here
Become a Destonian and support life.
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