Today, in facing and talking with many people, in applying what I was talking about to what I was actually facing, within and without, I thought….. I am trying to tell a persona/superstition- which are one and the same to me, that I have a tool for expansion.
Now, there is a problem here.
How can a persona, a projection understand? A projection can’t support anything. A projection can only “burn” resource. A persona can only speak the words that have created it, the words that label the “belief” of it, that which created it. Therefor, persona can only mirror its own superstition. Persona can only sound itself in word. Expansion as words, or suggestions that sound beyond this persona/superstition are discordant. Immediately, the defenses begin.
So, when I react, I am reacting to a bubble, I mirror the bubble, I give the limited a reflecting ground, I become a mirror image, another bubble.
My reactions, my personas, my mirroring of my mind, my behavior today was of my mother and my father.
As a daughter I would sometimes say to my father, “ Do we have to go on this (emotional) ride, do we have to go there?” It didn’t make any difference, by then the ride had started and my comments incited anger and fury. The ego before me was already in motion and I only added to the fury.
With my mother, things are always sad. Today, as I pulled my self back, using breath, I had to journey through this emotion of sadness that I had met responses of personal, of persona, defense instead of interest in awareness.
These impulses that I allow my self to personify are almost rhythmical, actually they are rhythmical.
This is a synapsis of what i have allowed and accepted my self to exist as. The world , in simplicity, mirroring accepted definition of self.
But there are gaps, so to speak, where all of this emotion and ego that I am, are seen as projections that have no substance, that are revealed to me as being meaningless. Here, there is no expression of significance, where there is actual support of life, where life breathes, where being at ease is allowed.
This is the process of my self realizing my own personas, my own superstitions, where I am not directing my self in common sense of what is best for all. Bringing my self back , here, in breath, to realize that projecting my self in reaction is not directive and has no significance. My reactions only mirroring my own limitations as belief, opinion and idea.
So, I will forgive these allowances and direct in principle of what is best for all, where all of the storm of superstition is revealed as just this, and not of substance as a directive principle that supports all of life here on this earth.
Forgive self of limited projections and become a substance of what is best for all, become oneness in equality through the desteni i process. A journey of self discovery as life as all as one as equal.