So last night, when my friend was telling me what she believed, she was hysterical, and there was no reason to be, she had not really been told everything by me. She went into a rant about how she lived, why she did what she did, and then she said that nothing matters, she lived her life and she was not of the norm. I remember her mother seeming this way too, a rant that was a storm, of no end, not having any sense, no common sense really, just self observation.
Usually, I would become emotional and defend and be scared and/or become angry. Wanting to fix and maintain my self at the same time, always wanting to fix, to pull in things before me and fix them, and direct. Just as I do with my self in wanting some kind of perfection,
I noticed that as I related the survival game and her worry, that she had admitted to- this worry, she then denied when taking in what I was saying, my words saying that she was caught in a survival game and worry was the manifestation of her participation in this game of survival. Immediate denial, twisting of words to fit into her context, a construct being a context;con-text.
If I think about education and what I was taught to get my two education degrees, I realize that we admit the human is constructed, and the system I was taught was called “deconstruction”. The deconstructivist approach said that the knowledge and information a person had would deconstruct when given new information, that a person is constantly rebuilding a kind of “construct” in their minds as they discover new information.I think denial is the outplay of the the existing context meeting the new info/expansion as awareness.
I notice this in teaching the violin. as a student follows simple exercises that are meant to bring awareness to , for example, how their arm is moving, at first it is slow, and an effort, and then with a certain kind of concentration ( it can happen really fast – the norm is two weeks, but the embedding of this-through one focused exercise that is specific takes about a week- and then it takes some reminder of awareness for this, but this can move in an instantaneous way, once fully focused on.) Sometimes a review is necessary, something was not strong enough and a review is necessary. I have watched this in students. One knows the difference, if they have actually, simply , done the specific task and focused, because the incorporated task is visible, one can even tell how strong it is ( this is how we know if someone has practiced! ) . But, this “deconstruction” going on is visible too. It is as though everything is upset as the new “expansion” takes place, but it settles again. So, the deconstructivist belief understand the learning process, that we are a con-text, and learning involves de-con-struction in order to build new con-text.
So, what was happening with my friend as she ranted about how she was not involved in life, yet worried all the time and indeed, in this worry, was involved in the game of survival. She then became animated and emotional and took the survival game and her worry and ‘wove” it into her belief system. Justification. She was blinded by her precious, her own construct that which was “holding her up”, even if in an animated fashion, but I am beginning to think all such things are really very “energetically” animated. It is like a record is started and won’t stop, once in play.
Self- forgiveness is to stop this”energetic” animated outplay, self forgiveness if to de-con-struct the con-text of a methodically placed energetic animation as the mind, a system that has placed the actual words, as belief, that we cannot organize this world in such a way to eliminate the survival game and direct all that is us that is this “energetic” animation through this physical world of a vision that does not move itself as what is best for all. We cannot see that we are this recording, this “energetic” animation because we are as the “not seeing the forest”, only the trees, we are so involved in our allowed con-text we cannot see it.
But, if methodical, in and as the practice of self forgiveness, corrective application, writing the con-texts out, de-constructing and correcting the self to become aware of the forest, of one self as life, the animation, as recording, will stop and the forest will appear, the forest being all that is here, that is life, that is breath.
The texts are puzzle pieces and they are finite. One just has to be willing, literally “will” life here, will – through self forgiveness and corrective application, an awareness of one self as life as all as one as equal. And naturally, just as with the violin student, the de-construction of the con-text of one’s mind, the limitation, just as in teaching a person to be aware of the violin, is to expand an awareness of all the parts of the violin, or, as self, an awareness of all that is here as this physical world and how we are at “interplay” with this physical world.
This game of survival, this con-text, imbedded by culture, by all culture, uses texts to limit us to a game of survival, animated “energetic” outplay, a text that separates from a constant that is life, the loving of our neighbor as ourself, here. We are this and need no text.
Culture is the method of survival game placement. It is time to deconstruct this con-science placed game of survival and begin the being of life here on earth, the “being” of life as heaven on earth.
The tools are here, they are simple, they are effective.
Writing out the con-texts of belief, opinion and idea, the “ guidelines” of this abusive game of survival, limiting and stagnating the expression of life here on this earth, blocking heaven. Look to your “energetic animation” ( energetic automation as personality).
Let’s get this done. Heaven is waiting, the earth has been supporting us unconditionally in this effort, how much more do you think the earth will take before we wake up from our mind dreams that do not include life? desteni i process
Support the practical means of stopping this abusive game of survival, become a supporter of an equal money system, let us get the manifestation of life here on earth.