Today, as I was talking with an elementary secretary, I noticed her anxiety, her fear, as my fear, as one with me the same vein, running through all of us, the same fear, as words, as thoughts as beliefs running through my head/her head. The manner in which the hiding occurs. This time the person shifted her eyes, contact being too hard for this woman. She could not stabilize herself.
I remember in 2004, when I was teaching in the summer, the director, in one on one meetings would sit and tap her foot under the table. Every tap I felt, and I wondered why she tapped her foot. I realize it was what kept her here. She needed to tap her foot to bring herself back;this is what I thought, right or wrong, it is what I thought. I remember thinking about it for a long time. Why was she tapping her foot, what was this loose-electrical-wire-like thing people seemed to be.
I realize how much I am this presently. I must stop this, find the cause. When concentration is so focused what is concentrated on is absorbed with a kind of ease, this is the place where I can see back in time and re-member the point, the emotion/feeling, that when found is suddenly able to be stopped/numbed made into something that is of little effect, no longer bigger than what is really here. An imaginary friend no longer present. It is the same thing again and again and again. What is so obvious, finally able to be seen.
It is always right fucking in front of you. A real “god” as life would have had it no other way.
Even stopping to ponder seems a waste of this time here, “awe-ful” being stagnant, life being movement/breath.
I don’t think, or should I say, I don’t be/breath anger towards fear anymore. It bears no life. Anger carries no life.
This whole present system here on earth is a psychopath, all behavior is such. Nothing to re-act to in anger or hate. Self direction needs to be clear and cutting through of this. This is what I have done with the secretaries and school people.
In the last days I have had very little back problems, as though I am more limber, as though I can stand up straighter, as though all that cracking and wanting to stretch was me realigning my whole body. I hadn’t realized how constricted I was.
I had no idea.
This is the desteni i process , the realignment of self. You have no idea unless you forgive and allow your self discovery.
Stand up and vote for an Equal Money System, so that all may begin the process of self realignment as life as all as one as equal.