I dug a well once. To get to the water, I used a post hole digger, one that spun and held the sand and clay it grasped. It had all these extensions one attached as one dug deeper and deeper. I suppose to find that clear, clean water one has to dig through all the sediment/sentiment. Just like the clay, the three feet of clay I dug through, the clay that collects all the impurities and holds them, where the water is cleaned and pure below, the useable water, the hearable water. Just keep digging until it is reached. Just like paper work, there is a beginning and an end. The repetition of what I am standing for will eventually be heard by my sister.
Playing the violin and music is the same, one has to listen until the sound is heard, the ability to immediately sense a note as the tone one wants. This ability to adjust the finger to the correct pitch starts to become instantaneous, like the ability to know the space grows greater and greater and suddenly adjustment is no longer adjustment but an awareness of all the space, the note becoming the space. I have done this on the violin so many times, because if I stop for a while I have to find this again, but it gets faster and easier. Some days, it seems I cannot “walk into” the concentration of this. I have to just stop then, because until I clear up what is consuming me, what is stopping me, I can’t go on.
So, what is stopping me now. My computer. I don’t know this machine. I don’t know how to download programs and I think I have messed up some of the programs I have. So I have to stop and learn about this. Yesterday I found someone to call. And on Saturdays I can go to a clinic, to learn about different programs. One step at a time. One turn of the post hole digger at a time to find clarity, one subtle resting of the finger at a time to know the space and find the note. One breath at a time to dis-cover the resonance of my self that I have accepted and allowed.
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