All this emotion around me, and this total sense of “deja vu”, like I have lived this, and this image came up of this man arriving to apologize , or to make this relationship work.
So, I look a the emotions, so much sense of these emotions having meaning. But these emotions are ego, not I-go.
It is like a big ball of desire in my chest. Heavy.
I am hiding in these emotions, not wanting to be self responsible, fearing my self. Wanting support.
Using all the beliefs I have to support me, all the personas built on these beliefs.
These emotions are not supportive ( well they show me what I have existed as) of my self as the equality principle.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting emotion as support of my self.
I forgive myself that I have allowed my self to use emotion in and as deisre and want and perceived need to support my self in and as belief, opinion and idea of the image of my self here instead of remaining in the practical, the physical, birthing my self in self responsibility in and as the physical, where I express my self as life as all as one as equal and not as a construct of the mind in limited awareness of the physical reality.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting my self to be afraid of falling, when falling is the revealing of what is not being all as one as equal as my self here.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting my self to desire to have support from another being, support from a male in relation to my self as a female instead of realizing my self here, as life, as all as one as equal.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting emotion that is my self hiding in the ego of a female believing, as has been taught and accepted and allowed by my self, that I am in need of support.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting my self to follow the emotion of the mind and the soul construct in and as ego as a response of my self as a role, as a persona, of what I believe and have been taught to believe through family and gender and society instead of remaining here as my self as all as one as equal, in and as the physical.
I am here
I am breathing
I am my self
I do not allow the emotion coupled with image, in and as memory, to be the reality of my self here, I forgive the wants and needs and desires that are of energy, that I have accepted and allowed in fear of self responsibility.
Though I shake and I tremble, I am here, and I can breath.