Jehovah witnesses

Today two elderly women came with their bibles and their pamphlets in support of Jehovah.
In talking with them and denying their god and their beliefs and asking them how they new their god existed they went into faith as thought it is a given, as though it is a universal fact. They could do nothing about the world, that they were waiting for god to do something, and that they had lived a good life.
Waiting, being in faith, having found these answers in the bible.
In the end they left, saying I was entitled to my beliefs.
But I was not ok.
I was shaking, I was angry, I was afraid.
I had stood before this authority of the system of god and realized that the standards phrases, that I could not alter, caused me to react.
Not only was I righteous, I was scared. I looked into their eyes I all I saw was a hard belief and I allowed this to scare me. In all the anger I experienced the fear of the authority of this god that I have been indoctrinated to believe actually exists. Despite my ability to “reason” that such a thing is ridiculous, the emotions of fear towards the authority of this remain.
I am once again the child powerless before authority.
There you are, there is the fear, that which causes my self to shake, that which is the illusion. In this mess is my desire to be right, to win. I judge my self as winning through my ability to convince, to control. If I am this mass of anger, need for control and fear I am only hurting my self. The authority before me is not real, so reaction to it is pointless.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting my self to fear the supposed authority of god.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting my self to react to the supposed authority of a system of god.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting my self to want to control and convince others
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting my self to believe that god is an authority of my self
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting my self to become angry when an assumption os made that faith is what is needed.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting my self to become angry when I am asked to accept something that has no proof, that has no actual power to change what is here, the abuse that is here.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become scared of an accepted belief system.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting my self to fear a standard universally accepted belief.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not realize that my anger is fear
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting my ego to desire to be correct, to desire to be right.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting my self to forget that I need not fear authority, that this authority in the form of words presented by two women have no power over my self.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting my self to not realize that all I can do is speak in a concise and clear way and introduce new ideas that are probably going to be initially rejected, but will further a process already in place.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting my self to not remain in breath, self directed in and as the physical, steadfast as my self in support of oneness in equality, where the idea of an unseen authority ignites fear and anger.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting my self to not stand firm and without fear in standing for this physical earth, that which is actually here that is in a state of abuse being ignored as what is real as a virtual authority suppresses awareness of the physical world.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting my self to reflect these women, this authority that is merely an idea, that is not real through my reaction in and as fear and anger and desire to control and convince, my actions being of the ego wanting its own authority.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting my self to desire to have authority in the face of authority instead of remaining in and as the awareness of the physical as life, as my self, as my self being one with all that is here, where my actions either support all that is here or continue the ego that is my self in separation of life in a desire for superiority.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting my self to not remain the whole of life, where I am one and equal and not reacting towards authority in reflecting that authority.
I am here
I am life
I stand one and equal to the physical
I support and direct myself as one and equal to the physical
I stop all desire for authority
I stop all fear of authority in realizing that what is best for my self is best for life.

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About rebeccakarlendalmas

Desteni I Process Equal Life Foundation livingincome.me eqafe.com
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