I dream of a future of saving people all the time.
The hero, the savior, the dreamer, the not being here person, the being in my mind, the fear of not reaching “heaven” the belief that being, saving is being more than, is doing goof ( funny- I meant to write “good”). All an illusion, in that I am in my mind dreaming and not being here, one with all that is here, in my own breathing, in my own taking in and letting go and being an expression of my self.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting my self to want to save, and the implication of this wanting to save is looking at how something needs to be saved, which is me wanting to control, me believing that something needs to be controlled, me being no better than the politicians that allow laws that control.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that something is less than my self.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting my self to dream about what I believe to be a perfect future.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see that when I believe Willy is wanting to destroy it is really my own fear of survival.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting my self to have the idea that I am going to be alone next year, when I am never really alone.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting my self to not realize that when I fear being with people it is really myself fearing the facing of my own fears.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting my self to not recognize fear, instantly, be it an ominous presence, in and as a belief that my son is wanting to destroy, or be it in the fear of being around people, which is really not wanting to face fear, because in practical common sense people are wonderful to be around when they are not being fearful, when they are not being demanding, when they are not being insecure, when they are not being needy or wanting, all these things are things that I exhibit my self at times and they are merely the fears that are the constrictions that are what I am when I face something in and as a belief that “something bad” is going to happen and I have no ability to be a “response” ability, so I shut my self down and allow confusion with the voice of the fear, with the “non-seeingness” of the fear and miss the movement of life as breath as all as one as equal. In every moment when the “weight’ of fear confuses, which I allow, and I dis-member my self from breath, from the moment, from the common sense of all that is here in the principle that all is one is equal, I lose my self as my all as one as equalness and become the dis-may of limitation instead of re-membering my self as life, as all as one as equal, in breath, where all is known and as my self, as life, I am response-able, that which is here, that which is constant, that which is principle, the response-ableness that is present in every moment as common sense of equality, that cannot be taken away unless I allow and re-cognize with fear , which is when I re-member my self with the weight/ominous presence/limitation of fear. In this I need no control over what is here as I move, in breath, in every moment, not allowing a loss of my self in and as my mind that guides me into fear by the very manner of its function.
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