What is suppression? What is movement as self/life?

I stayed in bed too long. I do this, and then I find my self beginning to worry about this or that, or desire through my imagination, which is just that, desire through imaginings, and not being here in principle. My breath is not as easy, anxiety appears and I feel as though I am spinning, and this spinning appears to be moving very fast, but it is like a centrifugal force. Like on a merry-go-round, I am moving away from a center – as in principle- and looping a distance away- in the boundaries of a bubble that is a thought- from my self.
I was doing this, in bed, awake, or should I say conscious. Had I been awake, I would rise and move, here, in the physical. Saying in bed and just lying there is being conscious, because this is exactly what happened. I was not awake.
Awake, being centripetal, in that I am not my mind, but centered in breath, in self, in principle of oneness in equality.
I rise, probably conscious but not awake, and I have the thought that all the resources of the earth belong to all of us, because we are here. This is something that is so obvious, and makes how the systems exist, allowing abuse and poverty, so unacceptable. How can a group of humans decide that what is here belongs solely to them? To the point where others do without?
Taking control of something, something that is here and deciding that the thing taken that is here on earth belongs to one and not all is a form of bullying.
Don’t we have laws against bullying?
In this a case could be made to say that any form of profit for a few is bullying!

I was not going to sit here and write. The part of me that was not awake, that had left my bed conscious, hesitated at the idea , the task of writing. But I needed to become awake, and decided to write this thought out, that profit oriented organization of the earth’e resources was a form of bullying.

From where I stand, this act of writing is clarity, is movement, is more awake than remaining in bed, beginning to imagine instead of becoming awake.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting my self to linger in bed, instead of rising the moment i awake, the moment I realize that I am conscious.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting my self to return to the habit of imagining outcome.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting my self to continue to think about this man.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting my self to take on the criticism of a quartet member by my mother last night and begin to spin this criticism into judgement and thought of ominous outcome for the group.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting my self to not realize that I am allowing the consciousness of others to influence my self as becoming the very thought and idea presented in and as my mind.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting my self to have talked to my mother to assuage her questioning of my state of being, calling to see what was happening.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting my self to protect my self from my mother’s questioning be unconditionally listening to her statements of how things are and not responding in ways that negated her judgements because I did not want to have her willful nature impose judgement on me about what is against her beliefs.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting my self to be influenced by the fears and desires of the mind.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting my self to have not immediately forgiven any second of ponder about the statements made by my mother last night on the phone.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting my self worry about judgement being passed in the next concert done at a cultural center up cape.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting my self to suppress my self in worry instead of remaining here in breath, in movement of self, in expansion of self through awareness of how things work in the physical.
I am here, in this physical body.
I am life
I do not allow my self to become influenced by the thought of others, I stop and breath.
If I feel my self faltering with what is presented to me as conscious thought by another, I remain in breath, centered and allow the awareness of this to expand.
I am breathing
I assist and support my self in breath.

Advertisements

About rebeccakarlendalmas

Desteni I Process Equal Life Foundation livingincome.me eqafe.com
This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s