I drove to New York and back yesterday. 10 hours of driving. Driving into New York City, is going 70mph through narrow passages between huge trucks, one truck after another that are traveling at speeds of 70mph as well. When I was younger I did this all the time and didn’t think anything of it. After I hit forty I started to experience some fear of having to direct my car through this kind of very packed, rapid traffic. Yesterday, I breathed, and kept breathing, not even hesitating to direct my car , at 70-75mph between a concrete barrier- in the fast lane- and a string of massive tractor trailer trucks. Just breath and direction.
I didn’t stop to criticize or blame, Why were the lanes so narrow ?( probably built in the thirties), why were there so many trucks? Why was there so much traffic?< I wish there were a road for passenger cars? My life is so busy, I can't deal with this. I have to many things to think about to face this harrowing traffic. etc. IN this moment, in retrospect, I might have been thinking all of this, going into self pity, frustration, annoyance etc. But I didn't.
I just breathed and directed myself, in my car, through what was there.
My son was sitting next to me and he asked me how I could drive through these narrow passages with all the trucks so calmly and with such certainty.
I told him I was breathing and directing. Moving through what was present, with what I had.