“Human beings have been giving their power away as who they are to the generating of emotions and feelings through the acceptance and allowance of the act of thinking, believing the lie that they are what they think, they are what they experience as energetic movements of emotions and feelings within themselves.”
I read this article again today, have read it a couple of times, seems I have to re-read it once more.
I find that sometimes I am not even aware of my self being in my mind. I just find myself wondering around in my thoughts. I know this stopping of things that are in the mind, because I have had things in my mind and willed them to stop. Just kept saying I didn’t want them to be there any more. Like the “weight” thing. All year, this year now that I have been dating this man, I have wanted what reactions I have physically to him to stop. They seem much smaller and I don’t think about them much, or rather they don’t seem to be present but then he appears and touches me and I am wanting to touch him. I don’t think “fuck” I think touch. One might say “what is the difference between “fuck” and “touch”, aren’t they really the same fucking thing! I just turned fuck into a pretty word. At the moment we are not doing this anyway, because I have twisted my back.
I am here to talk to my self about the mind. How I am allowing my self to not be able to stand because I am so in my mind. I find myself meandering around in my mind all the time and I am not exerting enough will to remain in breath, to focus on my breath, to the point where I catch my self in every moment from allowing some thought or feeling or emotion to become me.
What I picked up this time from reading Munchkin’s words was to realize that quilt about being fearful is the mind. In common sense we realize there is nothing to fear but fear itself, but seeing fear without a mind-feeling attachment of guilt, and catching this instantly and forgiving this in breath has not what I have been doing consistently. I often become lost in the feeling, in the “film” of emotion attached to the memory. ( I forgive myself for allowing and accepting my self to judge my self as stupid for not having realized the obvious.- How brilliant to place the prison in the obvious!)
I am stopping thoughts, emotions and feelings to find silence, to be silence. I am stepping from being a mind spinning to nowhere, spinning in now, to here. I am eliminating the “now”of “here” to find silence. When I find/am here/silence then will I take the next step.