In writing my post this morning I realized that I was receiving emotional support from my mother and that I do this all the time. I seek emotional support from friends, from siblings from men, from people I don’t even know.
Is it like looking for someone to accept your emotion? Yes. Sympathy; same pathology, same path, same loop, same addiction. This would probably be the SAME EMOTION a drug addict feels when they don’t get their fix. Anxiousness-fix-familiar path; comfort-bliss ( blingy bliss)-psycotic fog.
I have been looking at his all day. A day of longing for a pathology. A roller coaster.
One day a couple of years ago as I woke up and sat on the edge of my bed thought, where is joy, where is the kind of joy that is constant, real joy, stable joy. I decided that it must be somewhere and that I had to find this because it must exist.
In order to find this, all EMOTION must go.
I am here. I am joy. I am NOT s drug/emotion addict.