2012 What made me hear the desteni message.
I realize that there was something that was not “right “ about this world, about this life.
I had had many images appear in my mind, and I started to question them as I became an adult. Finally, one day I actually asked my self why I had images pop up in my mind, and how come I could not generate them at will. I also had realized that they never amounted to anything, and some of them I did not even understand until they came to pass.
One time I walked into an apartment and there was this floating head in the corner of the room, with rainbow colored rings around it. “It looked at me and I looked at “it”, I remember “it” appeared to me to register surprise that “it” could be seen. I was just as surprised. One of my first thoughts was that this head was of a man, a really really really angry man. So, what I thought was, wow, this “lost” thing that was really really really angry was a man at one time, how curious that demonic entities were just really angry men. I was also not afraid of this angry demon-like man. I had never been in this apartment before, so when I left with my companion I asked her if there was something strange about that apartment – and I did not tell her what I had seen. She said that , yes there was. When the occupant came home everything had been moved around to a different place.
This experience and others began to accumulate and I started to try and find answers in many books. One was a description of a bubble around things I had seen. It took me twenty years to find one description of a bubble being around something. So, here suddenly was desteni talking about bubbles. I think at first I could not believe it because it had been so hard to find.
The other information desteni talked about was how the present systems worked on this earth. I had looked into the health industry and the agricultural industry and found that there were ways and means of taking care of the health of this earth and it inhabitants that were not destructive to this earth and yet they were not being followed. If something did not make a profit then it was irrelevant, even if it was healthier for this planet. This did not make any sense. Why choose something that was not good for the planet? That profit was before pollution does not make any sense. That human health practices are invasive and non curative, and enslaved a person to pills for the rest of their life made no sense. It obviously was profit before health. And this is unacceptable. This is a clear indicator that something is not right about this world.
In 2000, I found my husband hanging in an attic. The first thing I remember thinking when I found him was a question. The question was, “why this, why does this choice exist?” For me, this and an event that happened a few days before this, really was the beginning of a clear sense that there was really something wrong with this world. I didn’t have anyone to talk to about this, so one day I asked the internet for an answer to what the hell was going on with the things I experienced and desteni was the ONLY one that answered. I had read a lot of spiritual books, and they never seemed to give a complete answer, just some intriguing details. I had become so lost in what was what, yet sensed that something more was there than what appeared to be real. I also had wanted to know the different “inner parts” parts of my self. All the labels and ideas of the “id” and the “inner self” and the intuitive self etc. seemed so unclear and everyone seemed to have a different explanation. I had thought, how the hell am I supposed to figure this out?
So , when desteni answered my “ I did not know here else to go” question that I sent into the internet world ( I had not yet become someone that watched Youtube videos and utilized the internet for information, I was a book person, I read periodicals and went to the library! ) I started watching their videos and reading the material on the web site and asking questions. I think I was in a state of shock for a long time. It is like looking and looking and looking for something that made some sense as to why this world made no sense and finding it after a long endless search.